Remember when you wanted to do business with somebody and you actually called them? And they picked up the call?
What a concept. LOL.
These days, good luck finding a phone number. (In the olden days people had a Rolodex filled with phone numbers!)
Instead, we’ve now got LinkedIn messages, emails, DMs, texts, WhatsApp, Instagram, Facebook, contact forms, Calendly links…and probably three other places I forgot to check.
And yet, with ALL these ways to reach each other, it sometimes feels harder than ever to actually connect.
Which is ironic because everybody keeps saying the same thing:
Relationships are everything.
And I agree. They are.
Not just nurturing the relationships you already have. You’ve got to keep making NEW ones too.
And HOW you do that matters.
Being Older Actually Has Its Advantages
One nice thing about being older and wiser — besides finally knowing which shoes are going to hurt before you buy them — is that you’ve had more time to build relationships.
You’ve got people in the bank.
The problem is, the bank keeps changing managers.
Companies reorganize. People retire. People get promoted. People get downsized. People suddenly announce on LinkedIn that they’re “excited for their next chapter,” which usually means something happened in the LAST chapter.
LOL.
The person you knew six months ago may no longer be sitting in the seat you need to reach today.
So now what?
How do you warm up the cold call when there’s nobody to actually CALL?
Here’s what works for me.
A Good Personal Email Still Gets Me
I can tell pretty quickly when somebody has actually taken a minute to figure out who I am and why they’re contacting me.
That matters.
Use my name. Tell me why you thought of me. Give me some clue why the two of us should be having this conversation.
And PLEASE put your real full name, email, company and website somewhere I can find them.
You’d be amazed how many people send a business pitch and make you conduct a small FBI investigation to figure out who they are.
Tone. Tone. Tone.
This is a big one for me.
I respond to energy.
If somebody writes to me warmly, upbeat, maybe throws in a little personality or humor — I’m paying attention.
If it sounds like a corporate memo written by six people and approved by Legal…
You may have already lost me.
We’re PEOPLE trying to connect with PEOPLE.
Sound like an authentic person.
LinkedIn: I’m Usually Open to the Connection
If somebody reaches out cold on LinkedIn, I generally try to connect back respectfully.
Unless it’s obviously:
“Hi Debbie, I noticed your impressive background and believe our revolutionary lead-generation solution could increase your revenue by 347%…”
Bless your heart.
No.
But otherwise, why not connect?
Maybe I don’t need what you’re offering today. Maybe I will six months from now. Or maybe I know somebody who does.
You never know where a new relationship can lead.
And Then There’s AI…
Okay. We have to talk about this.
Everybody’s using AI now.
Including me!
I think it’s FANTASTIC for researching somebody before you reach out.
Who are they? What have they done? What are they working on? What do you have in common? Is there a reason they might actually WANT to hear from you?
Great. Use AI.
But then…
PLEASE BE YOURSELF.
Because when AI writes one of those overly polished “personal” messages trying desperately to sound casual?
I can practically hear the robot clearing its throat.
Research with AI.
Think with AI.
Brainstorm with AI.
Then put some YOU back into it.
Because the whole point of reaching out to another human is presumably to eventually have a relationship with…another human.
Confession: I’m Terrible at Some of This Too
I don’t keep every platform notification turned on.
I forget entire message folders exist.
Sometimes I discover a message months later and think:
Oh God. Is it too late to answer this now?
And sometimes so much time has passed that answering feels MORE awkward than not answering.
I know. Terrible.
So, if you’ve ever reached out to me somewhere and thought I ignored you, there’s a decent chance I simply never saw it. Resend!
Which brings me to another point:
Don’t Give Up After One Try
People are BUSY.
A non-response isn’t always a rejection.
Sometimes it means:
“I saw this while walking into a meeting and completely forgot about it 11 seconds later.”
A friendly follow-up never bothers me. And often I’ll send a ‘gently following up’ message myself.
Actually, I respect it the follow up.
It tells me you really wanted to connect — you weren’t just blasting 400 people and checking my name off a spreadsheet. And gives me a chance to not feel guilty that I meant to respond, because you’re taking the pressure off the explanation and giving me another chance.
But Here’s What I Think Beats Everything
GO MEET PEOPLE.
In person.
Remember that?
I’m saying this as much to myself as anybody else because lately, I’ve been spending WAY too much time at my computer — writing, researching, connecting people, chasing ideas.
I work from home a lot and some days I get to the point where I have to get up and just bolt out of the house and be in the world where other people are.
Hopefully I remember to put decent clothes on first.
LOL.
Because here’s what I’ve noticed:
When I meet somebody in person and we have a great conversation — especially if we LAUGH — I remember them.
It sticks.
And I want to stay connected.
That’s something no algorithm has figured out how to replace.
Funny Thing About Cold Calls…
When I’m the one reaching WAY outside my normal circle trying to connect with somebody for a client or an idea, and that person actually responds warmly?
I still get a little thrill.
YES! A HUMAN ANSWERED!
Some things haven’t changed at all.
Business is still people.
Relationships are still relationships.
And sometimes the best way to warm up a cold call is simply to be a little warmer yourself.
So tell me:
Curious …What actually makes YOU respond to somebody you don’t know?
Do you research people before reaching out?
Do you follow up if they don’t answer?
And has meeting somebody IN PERSON ever accomplished more for you than months of online back-and-forth?
It would be good to hear what’s working for everybody else because we’re ALL figuring out this new relationship game together.
Just remember … whatever you do…
Don’t be cold. 😄
Best!
Debbie
