Everybody Knows My Show Theme is “Risk It or Regret It!” Whatever IT is for YOU! So, I thought it would be fun to share how I risked getting my first paying radio job after college.
It’s a memorable story of pushing myself to drive in a wild thunderstorm at 11 o’clock on a Friday night after working all day and evening at my other job, to a radio station in an old house in Briarcliff Manor, NY where Howard Stern had worked, to audition for an immediate opening for a news reporter. ‘Immediate’ being the operative word here as the opening came up that day and I didn’t want to miss the chance.
Bruce ‘Figman’ Figler who was working that night shift at WRNW Radio had encouraged me to come audition and show off my ‘on air’ and editing skills which back then required a razor, tape and an editing block. LOL He must have been impressed because I surprisingly got a call at 9am the next morning from the Program Director Gary Axelbank who called to tell me I got the job!
Now all these years later how fun and full circle is it, that Gary Axelbank came to join me in my radio studio to co-host my radio show.
Gary Axelbank is now the host of BronxTalk and Bronx Buzz on BronxNet and he also hosts The Bronx Music Podcast -with Gary Axelbank. He’s a wonderful warm person and host. I saw him and Bruce Figler not too long ago when I attended the final bye bye to that old house that was the home of WRNW Radio, and the home of so many radio people over the years. It’s also where I met my one of my longest best friends Barbara Freeman who was the office manager at WRNW when I got that job.
Gary got in touch with me recently, sparked by the theme of my new book out to say he was totally on board with the point of “How to Talk to Strangers Advice From A Professional Stranger Talker”.
I wrote it to try and spark people to try to have more meaningful conversations ‘in person’ versus the virtual conversations we’ve become accustomed to having by texting and email. Even making an actual phone call is becoming a lost art. (These days when I make a phone call and a human answers, I actually get excited!)
Gary said,
“You know among many reasons that I responded to the point of your book is that I’m a communications professional like you are, and communication is so important, yet people don’t talk to each other.
I talk to people who I work with and I’m like, you know, we’ve got to get this guest booked or whatever. I’ll tell them, do me a favor, just pick up the phone and find out if they can do it or they can’t do it. They say OK I’ll send them an email. Send an email? If you send them an email we’re going to wait forever. Then you get an email chain where there’s a whole discussion about, well, I can’t do 12.30, I’ll do 1.30 and I’ve lost track of what’s going on. If we picked up the phone, we could get to somebody.”
Gary and I are alike in that we intentionally put good energy into engaging people to converse ‘in person’ pretty much every day. We both feel it matters a lot, wanted to talk more about why it matters.
So we did… in this podcast of my entire show which airs weekdays 11-12 noon EST on WGCH Radio in the NY/CT area and airs live globally on the digital livestream on WGCH.com
I rarely post a whole show but decided to post this entire episode because we both tell some good stories….like the day I arrived to work at my usual 5:30am and found a drunk guy sitting on my typewriter. LOL.
And the day Famous Amos of Famous Amos cookies just walked in to introduce himself with a big box of his ‘new’ cookies he was trying to promote.
Gary tells a story about when Howard Stern worked there and what happened when he tried to kill a bee in the studio.
We also talked about all the famous people who came from the Bronx. People like Jennifer Lopez (who has my same birthday) and Chazz Palminteri who’s stopped by the show in the past and told me I reminded him of his mother!
Gary also teaches a course in TV performance and teaches his students that to conduct a great interview they need to ‘listen’.
“Well, this is a cool thing that I do. One of the things that we talk about is like when you do an interview, how do you get good depth? You get good depth because you ask a question based on what I say. And then I demonstrate to them, and I do it with them. I ask, you know, where were you born? What are your parents like? To do this, you must be a good listener. I could walk into the pharmacy and talk to the pharmacist, and I could do a half hour right on the spot with that. And why?
Because when I ask well, what medication do you sell a lot of? They’ll say, we sell diabetes meds. And I’ll say, oh, what are the options? And then he’ll say, well, these are the options. Why would somebody choose one, and why would somebody choose the other? And I could stand there forever. And it doesn’t matter.”
We both could talk forever but that’s what we do professionally. We both just want to encourage the rest to you to talk a little more, listen a little more, and make a little more an effort to engage your fellow humans in authentic conversations.
Enjoy this entire show podcast of my live conversation with Gary Axelbank on The Debbie Nigro Show. If you’d rather read than listen the audio transcript is below.
AUDIO TRANSCRIPT :
0:00:00
It’s time for the Debbie Nigro Show with Debbie Nigro, who says she’s still a babe, or at least she thinks she still is. That’s right, attitude is everything, and Debbie’s delusionally young. No one sees the glass of Cabernet half full like Debbie. She’s fresh air with a magnetic flair. Some day has arrived, and as far as she’s concerned, it’s time to roll.
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0:00:25
It’s time to roll. And you know that’s him staying inside Lift up with a smile and you’ve got the sign It’s your chance to wake up and plan another brand new day Either way, it’s a beautiful morning Oh, each bird keeps singing his own song
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0:00:51
So long, so long I’ve got to get on my way now Ain’t no fun just hanging around I’ve got to cover ground You couldn’t keep it down It just ain’t no good if the sun shines
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And you’re still inside
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Still inside
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Shut it out Shut it out Shut it out Oh, oh, oh I have found someone I will love There will be children with robins and flowers
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0:01:27
Sunshine, fluorescence, each new waking hours Seems to me that…
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0:02:06
It’s unbelievable. Everybody’s flipping and balancing and I’m just trying not to trip Italian man, it’s just physical Stamina and the prowess of these gals and these guys and these athletes I don’t know if I’ve ever watched such great Olympics. Is it just me? I don’t know might just be me But anyway, I’m not going to talk to myself today
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0:02:27
I have a very exciting guest in the studio today and I did all my homework this morning posted everything on social media Gary Axelbank is a former into Gary being here with me today because We’re gonna tell the story and he has no idea that I’m doing this but about how I got my first job in radio After I got out of college That was a real risk on my part and he’s the guy who hired me so we’re gonna go there
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0:03:10
So that was a risk on my part So nice to see you Gary’s a big shot in the Bronx big-time Of all the most influential people, like the top 50, he’s like 27. Am I right?
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0:03:40
I think it was 21.
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0:03:41
Oh, 21.
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I didn’t want to interrupt you.
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0:03:43
Well, then, they do it every year, and then later on, some years before it’s 21. I think this year it was 52. But, you know, I’m the biggest mouth in the Bronx, and I’ve had that moniker for a very
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0:03:58
long time. You’re the biggest mouth in the Bronx? That’s a really big mouth, because the Bronx is really big. And so many famous people came from the Bronx We’re gonna talk about that during our time together today. You’re just gonna co-host the show with me I think it’s so much fun all these years later that
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0:04:13
We’re still friendly and that you’re here with me. I’m gonna have this fun experience I told the engineer while we were waiting for Debbie It’s amazing because she did the cartwheels. It’s funny because I saw her out the window. She’s out of her freaking mind. She’s doing the cartwheels in here again. So funny, Gary.
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0:04:33
So I told Bob the story of that snowy day and there was nobody to open up the radio station that we worked for in Westchester. So, you know, when…
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0:04:42
Oh, we’re going to another story that I don’t remember. Go ahead.
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We used to have snow and so I called up, I was the program director and I called up…
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At WRNW where Howard Stern started. Gary was very famous and
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everybody knew about Gary Axelbank. Nobody more famous than Howard Stern. We will all acknowledge that. But there was no way to get the station on the air because nobody could get there in the snow. So I lived in the Bronx, you lived in Mount Vernon. I said, easily the crack of dawn, I said, Debbie, you and me and drove somehow I came from the Bronx picked you up in my room oh my gosh all the way up to the station which is a crazy up in Briarcliff Manor yeah and we and you did the news – ripped and read the news
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0:05:29
oh my god rip and read and I played all the funky progressive rock tracks that we played and I think we were there, must have been half a day because nobody else could get to the station.
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0:05:41
Nobody else could get there.
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We were doing what we do right now.
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0:05:44
It’s great to have you. So we’re gonna talk about a lot of things but Gary got in touch with me recently because he was sparked about the topic of my new book, How to Talk to Strangers, Advice from a Professional Stranger Talker.
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0:05:56
My point of which is to spark people to be more authentic and have more authentic conversations in person versus the virtual nonsense we’ve become very accustomed to texting somebody you know sending an email waving with a signal like some you know emoticon you know so I said Gary just come in the studio let’s talk about it in real time so he’s here I’m here and we’re going to talk about a lot of things today we can start
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0:06:22
with we’ll go back to how I got my first job in radio because I do want to do that but not every second.
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It’s your show and I’m just here to tag along.
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0:06:29
It’s my show? All right. Yeah. We’ll start with the name Debbie, which is the name of the latest hurricane.
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Oh, that’s a good point.
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I just wanted everybody to know this is not me.
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I thought it was named after you.
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0:06:41
No, she has a different spelling. So I do not like to be blamed for negative things when they’re not truly my fault. I will take responsibility. For what is your fault?
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Right.
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0:06:51
If it was D-E-B-B-I-E, I would be apologizing to the planet. But it’s not. It’s D-E-B-B-Y. She’s giving me a bad name, this other Debbie. And she’s causing havoc down in Florida. It landed.
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0:07:02
It’s causing a lot of, you know, they’re really worried about the winds and the rain and the flooding. It’s just, what’s happening, and you know, you’ve seen this for years.
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I have family in Tampa.
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You do have family in Tampa. Have they checked in?
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0:07:13
Of course. But, you know, my son is a TV newscaster and his wife is the anchor for the station. Shut up. Fox 13 in Tampa. Really? They have all the weather information. It’s passing over Tampa today. Okay, cool. And then it’ll go up toward, you know, like toward the Panhandle and then up into the other states. So at least as far as I know, he said it’s just a lot of
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0:07:35
rain, not much wind, but it’s passing by Tampa and up the coast. You know, it makes me laugh
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0:07:41
My daughter makes everybody makes fun of me because of how much time I Spend on discussing weather. It’s mostly out of like Nervousness that somebody I love will be driving in something bad or is not protected what we so I have a nickname Debbie Doppler. Oh, really? Yeah, my son-in-law, he did something really fun one time to make fun of me without me knowing because I finally found it.
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0:08:06
He finally gave it up. He did a superimposed like an antenna on my head, like a weather antenna on my head in a picture and they would always pass it around without showing me until I saw it. And that was so funny, I took it for myself. I should really use it as part of my M.O.
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0:08:20
You know, what you just told people is one of the fundamental theories of doing good radio and our old longtime friend Earl Bailey who was on the air with us, he taught me this. He said, you know what? Everybody is affected by the weather. So if you talk about the weather, there’s not one listener who won’t say, oh, oh, because
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it affects them.
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It’s a universal thing.
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There you go.
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0:08:46
So you’re doing, so that’s why you’re still here and that’s why I’m still here. Oh my gosh. You’re a parent now grandparent. You know you worry about your kids your grandkids This is a negative weather thing you like I don’t stay off the road Don’t go here. Don’t visit and then I have to like shut myself up But it’s terrible because we did get caught the other day in that ballistic Thunderstorm that it’s been ballistic Thunderstorming with lightning and like not telling you it just does it and then it goes away
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0:09:08
And it does it again, and we got caught in it a moment after we left hitting golf balls this weekend in the Bronx by the way
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where we
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0:09:17
turtle cove over by city island for some odd reason we went down there to
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0:09:23
what do you mean odd reason? because the Bronx is the place to go
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0:09:26
no no it is a great place to hit golf balls yes of course and hit baseball and hit baseballs so it was fun and the only reason I said we went was because of the weather you know I was watching I’m like oh I don’t know about the golf clubs, their metal, if it’s lightning, we could all go down on the Turtle Cove and they’re looking at me like, really? Let’s just hit some balls.
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0:09:45
I’m like, okay, okay, I’ll calm down. So we did. Me, a little five-year-old, my boyfriend, my daughter, a little baby who was two, we had him running around and it was great fun. The minute we left, bada boom, but that’s okay. Bada boom, bada boom.
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0:09:56
Hey, more bada boom. I want you to laugh about the pictures I put up. I stuck Chaz Parmentieri and me on the thing next to you on my Facebook page. Oh really? Because he’s been in the studio here.
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0:10:06
I didn’t bring my laptop, but if I get my phone? Yeah, I’m going to show you in a minute.
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0:10:08
He says I remind him of his mother. All right, come on back. More to come on a Monday. We’re going to talk about the Olympics. We’re going to talk about lots of things with Gary Axelbank, my old friend and now host of Bronx Talk.
1
0:10:14
Next, right? And now, back to the Debbie Nigro Show is brought to you by I just want to make sure you understand that the Debbie Nigro show is brought to you by a couple of legends in business. One is Vinnie Groppa. He is Vinnie the Vin V Groppa pools. Everybody’s like, you need a pool. You got a pool. You need a Vinnie. This guy is best in class. People fly him everywhere to design.
1
0:11:10
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1
0:11:21
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1
0:11:37
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All right in studio and this is fun because Gary Axelbank gave me my first job. He was the general manager of WRNW. Program director. Okay program director. Yes let’s be clear. Oh jeez I gotta fix that on the social
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0:11:59
media. Well maybe I just got a promotion. That’s
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0:12:02
So back in the day and just before you on PIX yes, yes Wow This is like right out of college my friend. This is how it happened Hmm, and this is kind of funny because it’s real is I don’t remember. Oh, you’ve got no one I tell you risk it or regret it. That’s my thing, right? So talk about this risk I get out of college and I get my first job at the Dick Clark Westchester Theater as the assistant public relations director
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0:12:22
My job was to get all the acts that were coming into the theater and they were big acts you know Natalie Cole and and George Benson at the time and all the real… Carly Simon. Carly Simon and you know a lot of people were coming into the theater. My job was to get the public relations promote the fact the shows were coming in so I had to deal with all the radio stations and all the newspapers. So I got a little friendly and I’m on the phone you know
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0:12:47
I go into work I got a job but you know I’m a little excessive with my workaholism. So now I’m like, one of these days I got to get on the radio because that’s what I majored in, radio and television. So I have a conversation and I throw it out to whoever at WRNW, where Gary was the program director, and I end up talking to a gentleman who I’m still friendly with named Bruce Figler. I said, if you guys ever need a radio person for news or whatever he goes as a matter of fact as a matter of fact we are
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0:13:16
looking right now for someone to do the news like it’s an immediate opening so that particular day was a Friday I’ll never forget it as long as I live because you always remember these big moments right and it was a torrentially rainy day much like the bad storms were having now I went to work it was part of the day job what I had slipped in to make more money at the premier theater was also went on a show night which it was I was also a
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0:13:39
bartender because at that time cute girls were bartenders at this place and I was cute and I needed cash so I couldn’t tell my father because he would get mad I was a bartender so I only told him about the public relations part so now I get up in the morning I do the show I mean I’m doing my job who know God knows who was there that day and then I go and I’m a bartender like You know, I don’t know what I was doing, but I drank everything.
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0:14:00
This is the first of what bartenders say all the time.
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Do do do do do. Do do do do do.
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0:14:04
I never even made a drink other than myself, but I drank everything. I’m like, I’ll figure this out. So I’d make ‘Debbie specials’ and get everybody drunk because I didn’t know what I was putting in it. So I was like, okay. Then what Bruce said to me was, can you come up tonight? And I’m like, uh.
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0:14:17
Now we got the day all day, the show. I’m not going to. I said, listen, I wouldn’t get up there until very, very late. I don’t think I could. He goes, well, I will be here all night because I’m a night guy. So as long as you get up here, I think he said by 11 o’clock or 12 o’clock, whatever
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0:14:28
it was, I was like, no problem. See, I always say no problem. Meanwhile, it’s a freaking problem. It’s thundering, it’s lightning, I’m exhausted, it’s dark, and now I’m driving a little Miss Daisy up to the radio station. I go in and he says, hey, and I say, hey, but it wasn’t, you know, when you walk into
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0:14:44
this radio station, it had really vertical stairs. Like you almost felt like you were you know straight up to heaven like who are these people who constructed this stupid house it was in a private house a private house a big private house with a bad staircase like stupid vertical so I get up there huffing and puffing like hi I’m Debbie I’m here for that you know job thing he’s like come on in and he
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0:15:08
puts me in the studio and gives me some copy and he says okay we need you to do here’s some stories and see what you can do.
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0:15:14
I was not there.
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0:15:15
No, you were not there. No. You come into the next, you’re the punchline. So he… Stay waiting in the wings. Yeah, so now he gives me some copy, here you see you write your story, he shows me, he
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0:15:24
goes, we want to see if you can edit, hands me a razor. Back in the day we used a razor and a little block with like tape, you had to like edit things together. Wow, you did that too? Reel to reel, yeah, I did everything. And then he gave me the board, I’m engineering the board and he leaves and I’m like, okay.
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0:15:39
So I do all this, I finish after like an hour, he was very sweet by the way, very kind, very encouraging.
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He’s our friend to this day.
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To this day, a lovely human and you know, was great to a lot of people in the business. So I go home, now I got to drive home. It’s a million miles and the rain and I’m like, whatever, I fall asleep, I’m exhausted because it’s Saturday, I don’t have to get up. And the phone rings, it’s like nine o’clock in the morning and it’s Gary Axelbank back when phones actually were in a house style and what was I doing up
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0:16:10
at nine o’clock in the morning you call me to tell me Debbie Nigro hi I’m Gary Axelbank I just want to let you know you got the job what he said nine o’clock the next morning there you go change your life when can you start and I was like all right listen I have this other job. So I went to the Dick Clark West Chester Theater and I said, listen, I love you guys and I really like this job, but I have to take another job.
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0:16:32
Would you mind if I started a little bit later in the morning and I would work later in the evening if you needed me to. And I worked at a deal, oh my gosh, to start at 11 o’clock there. And so I had to be at the radio station at 530.
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Right, to do the morning news.
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Morning news, 530, right through like 9, 930 and I’d finish by 10 for the next day and then I would drive to The theater and start that job. That’s how I you know, I remember the dick Clark theater I think I saw Todd Rundgren there. Yeah, I introduced Carly Simon on stage very possible And then I was like ladies and gentlemen, yeah, because the radio people always to the end You know the hosting of these big events, you know, I introduced they really ran out of people at this point. They used me Rodney Dangerfield. Really? Yeah to 3,000 people I opened for Rodney Dangerfield. He got really unbelievable. You kind of appropriate. Yeah, right you gave him respect
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0:17:22
I gave him well after all day doing the PR job, and then I introduced him quick No, I did the radio the PR job introduced him and then worked and worked in the bar Where I met my boyfriend by the way, it was my boyfriend for a long time back then. He had good biceps. All right, anyway, more fun stories about the radio station before we get into my Stranger book because we’re going to talk about the communication thing.
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I once walked up, I became the news director after news reporting for a while.
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Which listen, let’s be clear about it. Debbie is wonderful and she deserves to have a high position, but news director, I mean, I don’t know how many news people?
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0:18:02
You Directed yourself directed myself and I’d like the title a lot and I go up there one morning I get there early and I come running up the steps, which you know That was no joke and there’s a drunk guy sitting on my typewriter at the time like an actual human being Sitting on my typewriter who was drunk And I couldn’t get to the only other guy Curtis had passed away Curtis yes Curtis K Curtis K what a
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great guy what a great icon in the industry actually he was and I worked
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with him at our next station with WDHA in Dover New Jersey and worked six to
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ten and I worked ten to two yeah I love that so I saw him every day he was I mean I loved him so I’m trying to figure out how to get the message to him in the other room through a door and a bathroom that I got a drunk guy sitting on my typewriter, okay, which was not simple. I gotta be honest.
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0:18:53
And we didn’t have laptops, so she couldn’t just say, well, I’ll move my laptop to the other side.
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0:18:56
No, no, no. I couldn’t do that at all. So I think I was trying to be friendly with him so he wouldn’t kill me or something. And because I didn’t know what I was dealing with, right, I was like, I’ll be right back. And I go into Curtis’ office, I go, listen, listen, there’s a drunk guy. Listen, I need help, help, help. Oh, my God. We had so many lifts. Sometimes I would come in and make up the news. I hate to tell you Garrett 530 because I would just get there and I would listen on the way up. I would listen on the way up to other like CBS, ABC,
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NBC and make it up. I would just like whatever I remembered would be the morning first report.
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Some other things I want to just point out because it’s funny. I got a good story from there. I hear good Howard Stern story. Yes. Let me please. So Howard was the program director before me, and I was doing night times, and one night I came in at 10 p.m., and if you recall, there was a window in the studio that led to the outside, much like there’s windows here. And one day I came in, and the window was all boarded up, and I was like, what happened? And they said there was a bee in the studio, and Howard took his boot off, and took it
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0:20:00
off and went right through, killed the bee, but that was the end of it.
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0:20:06
That’s a good one. Not bad. That’s funny, funny, funny.
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0:20:09
Do we know who the drunk guy was?
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0:20:11
No, we never knew who the drunk guy was. But another day.
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Is he still there?
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0:20:14
Possibly. Another day, randomly, famous Amos from Famous Amos Cookies just walked in and walked up the stairs and into my office.
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0:20:21
Amos himself?
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0:20:22
Amos himself. And I’m sitting there, I go, hi, can I help you? And he’s like, hi, I’m famous. I’m Amos, and I’m in the cookie business, and I’m just sharing my cookies with different radio stations.
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He made the rounds to all the stations around here.
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Yeah.
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And I was like, wow. And I tasted his cookies. I was like, wow, you are onto something. Can you imagine? Left me a big box of famous.
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0:20:41
Are you alleging that you started Famous Amos on his road?
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Absolutely. And I also started Rao’s Sauce. That’s a true story.
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OK.
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0:20:48
Because if anybody ever bought the first jars of Rios sauce which is now world famous still buy it okay originally I was on the hang tag which that as heard on Debbie Nygro’s working on the run I helped Frankie Pellegrino launched the sauce when he first I’m a ploy I know everybody’s cool things I’m good they’re coming back Gary they’re coming I don’t know where these memories go but they go mine are gone by the way so I really appreciate
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your revitalizing oh thank you so much.
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0:21:16
Oh, and then the last thing I’ll say about the radio station is I met a gal who to this day is my longest best friend in life, Barbara Freeman. Wow. She was the office manager. Sure. And she was the best and she’s still my beautiful friend.
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0:21:32
Still to this day. To this day. Best buddy.
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0:21:35
That is amazing. Yep. Well, I will say that you mentioned the name Bruce Figgler. Bruce has been, I don’t want to say my best friend, but we have been consistent friends throughout both of our careers.
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0:21:45
That’s nice. Long time. You know how long I know Bob? 6,000 years.
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0:21:49
Wow, he doesn’t look that old.
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0:21:50
I know, 6,000 years. Well, we’re not, oh, we are ageless, you know, I tell everybody.
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0:21:53
I’m older than both of you, but we want to…
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0:21:55
I don’t believe you’re older than me.
1
0:21:56
All right, listen, the key to life right now is attitude, okay? I just had some people on, I do some very interesting interviews, by the way.
3
0:22:04
I know you do.
1
0:22:05
Yeah. Oh, you know what’s coming on tomorrow? No. Oh, you’re going to like this one. Talk about Risk It or Regret It. Everybody’s watching the Olympics, right? Oh, yeah. Has anybody not seen Simone Biles’ goat necklace?
3
0:22:17
I mean, I’m not saying anything because I have seen it.
1
0:22:20
Have you seen it, Bob?
6
0:22:22
I don’t think I have. Maybe I have, but I didn’t pay any attention to it.
1
0:22:25
You’re the only person on the planet. The whole point of her goat necklace, goat standing for greatest of all time, of course, and I guess she was a little hesitant to pull it out because she wasn’t sure how she was going to do it. You don’t want to show the world that I’m the greatest. Yeah, until she actually showed you that she was the greatest. She demonstrated. She demonstrated in real time. But this, she really did it and nailed all those medals and then took it out and was very proud to have it. So what the story, everybody was looking at the goat necklace and it was a big story and
1
0:22:51
behind this the story is a gal who she commissioned to create it for her in calabasas california like five weeks before the olympics and then you know this woman and it’s so fancy i was just like who is this woman that’s getting this global free press for her jewelry company janet heller and
3
0:23:09
you’re about to tell us she’s coming on the show tomorrow well so i’m in day early. Janet Heller will join us tomorrow.
1
0:23:15
Janet Heller Fine Jewelry. She’s in Calabasas, California, and she’s a female entrepreneur who is beloved in her company. I can tell that the company was named something else, and they all decided, no, Janet, she’s our girl, and we’re going to name it after her for her legacy and blah, blah, blah. I was writing about the story and trying to find some photos that I could use that were
1
0:23:21
legal. You’ve got to be careful of copyright issues. You know about that, don’t you? You see what’s going on with The Last Supper. There’s a copyright issue over there with the little girl. I’m going to have to get a copy of that.
1
0:23:27
I’m going to have to get a copy of that. I’m going to have to get a copy of that. I got to be careful of copyright issues, you know about that, don’t you? You see what’s going on with the Last Supper, there’s a copyright issue over there with what went on at the Olympics. All right, so basically I got to her on Instagram and I introduced myself and I said, look,
1
0:23:54
blah, blah, whatever I said, blah, blah, blah, I always say blah, blah, and we became best
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0:23:58
friends and she’s like, okay, Debbie, great. I’m like, okay, Janet.
1
0:24:01
So I want to give her love. Is that blah, blah stuff a chapter in your book? Maybe not. No, but I’ll add it. thank you for bringing that up. I keep forgetting I wrote a book. Gary, this is my book. I have
3
0:24:09
a very direct response to even just the title. Which I will read. How to Talk to Strangers.
1
0:24:15
Yeah, but that’s not the whole title. This really should be the title. Advice from a Professional Stranger Talker. I went pro, Gary. And you are too. I know, you went pro. If there was an Olympic competition for professional stranger talking, it would be me against you.
10
0:24:39
Axel Bank and Nigro.
1
0:24:40
I’d get a Nigro. I’d be like, is that allowed, boys and girls competing together? All right, let me go there. Let’s talk about how to talk to strangers, advice from a professional stranger talker. When we come back, right after this, I’m having a lot of fun. In studio, Gary Axelbank, old buddy in the radio business.
1
0:24:56
I’m sure you’re enjoying being back in front of the mic and hanging out. It’s comfortable and fun. Does Bronx Talk Network radio. He’s very famous in the Bronx. We have to talk about all those famous people who came from the Bronx. I was blown away doing my homework. There’s a list of people you can’t even believe, even a president.
2
0:25:12
When we come back, right after this. It’s the same old story, coming round again. What is done is done now. You know you can’t hold back the rain. There’s no need to run.
9
0:25:51
You know, what’s done is done.
1
0:25:53
It doesn’t mean you can’t try something new and start over again. You know, what do I always say? You still got a pulse, you still got a shot. Hey everybody, I’m Debbie Nigro and this is my show that I like to dedicate to you guys because I do so much crazy research and have so much knowledge that I’m, what am I going to do with all this?
1
0:26:19
I got to share it and hope that somebody out there gets a little nugget of something that benefits them. In the studio with me today, dear old friend and former boss. Gary Axelbank, who was the program director who hired me my first real paying job, and it wasn’t even a lot of money at all, but it was a real job in radio at WRNW back in the day.
1
0:26:45
And so we’re back together. And Gary is very famous right now. He’s like really the guy, Mr. Bronx. and helps with sunburns, sore muscles, anxiety, of which we have much. Check it out, CBDlivenatural.com.
1
0:27:11
And then my buddy over there at Vinnie Gropa Pools and the Gropa Pools and Gunite Pools of Westchester and beyond, expanding now into Greenwich and really all over. Anybody who’s got to do something, wants to know Vinnie’s opinions, 50 years of doing this, he sure knows. Check it out, gunitepoolsofwestchester.com. All right, we’re going to talk about my book.
1
0:27:30
Why? Because Gary got in touch after many years, besides he loves me, to say hello. And Deb, I’m so passionate about the theme of your book, I can’t feel any more strongly about it, that people don’t connect in person and communicate well anymore. And my book, How to Talk to Strangers, advice from a professional stranger talker, tries to get the point across that I think, personally, people are stuck and confused about what’s next. They have gotten used to not saying things to people. They’re
1
0:28:05
afraid to say things to people. They haven’t been around people. They decided they don’t like people. And I just wanted to put out there, you know, we’re in a tumultuous time right now. Gary will speak to it. I’m sure that, you know, difference of opinions are going to be getting louder as the election comes closer. And I don’t talk politics, but I will talk to the fact that you should put a little bit of effort into opening your mind and your mouth to talk and to listen to others without judgment.
1
0:28:32
I don’t know how we’re going to get there, but if everybody tries a little harder, it can be done. You don’t have to agree or like everybody you meet, you don’t have to agree with or like them, but you should try to be open and kind to as many people as possible of every age from all walks of life every day. And that’s what I think is missing.
3
0:28:52
The reason that I respond, among many reasons that I responded to it is that I’m a communications professional like you are and communication is so important yet people don’t talk to each other. I talk to people who I work with and I’m like, you know, we got to get this guest booked or whatever and I’ll tell them, do me a favor, just pick up the phone and find can they do it or they can’t do It right there right away say I’ll send them an email if you send them an email
3
0:29:21
We’re gonna wait forever right and then you get an email chain where there’s a whole discussion about well. I can’t do 1230 And then I’ve lost track of what’s going on if we picked up the phone we could get to somebody
1
0:29:32
But that’s a lost art. I was actually saying I’m making a long call is an art It’s like an actual when I get a human on the phone, I actually play exciting music in the background. I go, are you a human? They go, yeah. I go, my gosh,
3
0:29:47
it’s so nice to talk to you. I teach a course in TV performance. You teach a lot of cool things. Well, this is a cool thing that I do. One of the things that we talk about is like when you do an interview, how do you get good depth? You get good depth because you ask a question based on what I say. And then I demonstrate to them and I do it with them. I ask, you know, where were you born? What are your parents like? If to be a, to do this, you have to be a good listener. And so I say I could walk into the pharmacist and the pharmacy and talk to the
3
0:30:21
pharmacist and I could do a half hour right on the spot with that. And why? Because when he says, well, what medication do you sell a lot of? We sell diabetes meds. And I’ll say, oh, what are the options? And then he’ll say, well, these are the options. Why would somebody choose one and why would somebody choose the other? And I could stand there forever. And it doesn’t matter.
1
0:30:40
We should really do a face-off on who could talk longer to the pharmacist. I see it. I know exactly what you’re talking about.
3
0:30:46
I could do two hours with Bob if I had to.
1
0:30:48
But the whole point is that we listen and Gary teaches this and I guess I teach by example. We listen and then based on what somebody says, you are learning and you ask, you know where to go from there. Also, you probably have done enough homework in the world of communication and talking to people that you know curiosity should never die and then I’m constantly curious and being constantly curious and reading and absorbing information you never know when
1
0:31:21
it’s going to come in handy so that’s part of it.
3
0:31:23
And the other or I shouldn’t say the other, another issue is the devices that we use and it came up while I was on my way I had the GPS on and I was talking on the phone doing a little business while I was driving which is always a good time to do your business because you can focus on the conversation and All of a sudden the GPS was giving the instructions make a left at the next light etc. Etc And I had disconnected the instructions weeks ago Months ago and all of a sudden so the devices are not accurate
3
0:31:55
So I had a pullover and actually get it to turn I know where it said in there turn off again and I turned off the sound but because we rely so much on these devices it makes it they intrude on the communication you know call the doctor and try to get through the phone or call the phone company and try and get through and talk to somebody because you want to ask a question forget about it.
1
0:32:24
I will just share with you that I happen to meet my daughter and grandkids and their family at some pool last week and I got there when I could because my car broke down and I had somebody else to only ask what that story is. But by the way, my car is in the Bronx. Maybe you’ll pass my car one of these days.
3
0:32:38
I’ll pick it up and bring it back.
1
0:32:39
I’ll deliver it to you. The mechanics in the Bronx are giving it some love. So I overheard a couple of women talking. They didn’t know each other. They both had young kids and the kids were in the bathroom, ladies room obviously, mine was in there, and they were different ages
1
0:32:53
and they were different ethnic backgrounds, but the point of the conversation was how frustrated they were with their children that they were loudly blaming social media, phones, TV shows, they were just saying, this is really ruining our children.
6
0:33:08
It’s almost like talking about the weather.
1
0:33:10
It is really, and you know who’s come out with all of this right now? I do believe Harry and Megan, aren’t they out there talking about the mental health benefits of technology with children? I thought that was a loud statement
3
0:33:20
I heard this weekend. I was more for it. And you know what made it worse was the pandemic because the kids were instead of being in school with each other every day for two years. It’s crazy. They were looking at computer screens. And so when I see teachers, I say, get your kids outside, take them to the park, let him walk down the block, just get him out. And here’s a real good example. I have a friend who’s a college professor and he said, when I used to walk in the room,
3
0:33:47
everybody was talking and stuff and I would tell him, settle down and start the lesson. Now when I walk into the room, the room is silent because they’re all sitting there staring at their phones.
1
0:33:55
Even, I believe, those who-
3
0:33:58
That’s a real interesting concept.
1
0:34:00
It’s terrible, to be perfectly honest with you. I think it’s affecting so much behavior and loneliness. Virtual has speeded up our access to so many good things, knowledge, information for medical purposes, AI, I hope it speeds up drug research to help people. I mean, that I’m all in favor of. What it’s done is made people very lonely and not knowing how to get out of this vortex
1
0:34:24
of virtual, right? So I was looking in AARP, I get this magazine, not because I’m old enough I listen wait a minute. No. No I tell you why why I get this magazine. It’s actually not mine It’s Dave’s because he’s older and anyway It’s it’s their version of always available and ready to party, but not the other version and they were talking about Finding friends on a ARP’s virtual Ethel circle, and I’m like who is Ethel Ethel?
6
0:34:45
And what’s in gasoline? I was gonna say yes, ethyl chloride.
1
0:34:51
E-T-H-E-L. E-T-H.
8
0:34:53
E-T-H.
1
0:34:54
The woman named Ethyl. Yes. Okay.
6
0:34:57
Like Lucy and Ethyl.
1
0:34:58
Well, it’s a supportive space where people who are a little older, 50, 60, 70, 80, can have a supportive space where older women talk about the joys and challenges of growing older. And basically, they’re meeting in person as a result of being part of these ethyl circles and they’re looking to make connections, social connections. Hey, you want to grab a cup of coffee?
1
0:35:21
You want to do that? And they’re doing it. And what AARP is committed to is encouraging social connection because of its critical impact on happiness and long-term health. I thought it was cool they were doing this.
3
0:35:32
And I really appreciated it, but I did notice that when I sat down here there was an AARP magazine right in front of me on my desk.
7
0:35:39
Well I bought this.
3
0:35:40
And I didn’t know if you were dropping a very subtle hint or not. But I, and I, what can I tell you?
1
0:35:45
Look who’s on the cover of that magazine. Who’s that?
3
0:35:48
Oh, that’s Bon Jovi.
1
0:35:49
Yeah, so, you know, it’s not, what do you think? He’s not getting older? We’re all getting older.
3
0:35:54
Well, listen. That’s okay.
1
0:35:56
That’s a blessing. It’s a blessing. I wouldn’t be here talking to you. You’d be talking to some other bimbo. It’d be somebody else over here.
3
0:36:02
No, no, I don’t talk to a lot of bimbos.
1
0:36:04
My wife would kill you. How is your wife?
3
0:36:07
Suzanne is fine. Hi Suzanne. We’ve been married many, many years. Forty-four years. Yeah, I should know that, but it is 44 years.
1
0:36:14
What’s your favorite color?
3
0:36:15
Her favorite color?
2
0:36:16
Oh, goodness gracious.
3
0:36:17
After 44 years, it’s a specific color.
1
0:36:18
Well, because it never came up. I can’t take it.
3
0:36:20
She knows I like Mets colors. Oh, I’m a Mets fan. She wears dark colors. She likes to wear black.
1
0:36:33
It never came up. Forty-four years you’re married?
3
0:36:37
You have really screwed me here.
1
0:36:39
I am really sorry. You should have some more in-person communication with your wife, Gary Axelbank.
3
0:36:44
She’s probably the big communicator. She doesn’t even know what…
1
0:36:46
That’s really not good for your PR. She destroyed me. We’re going to edit that out of the show because it’s terrible. All right, so Gary, real-time advice for other people how to talk to strangers, okay? Advice from a professional stranger talker. So how often are you supposed to talk to strangers? I actually asked that question in my book and I gave my personal answer. Let me give
1
0:37:06
mine, you can give yours. Yeah, I’m ready. I do it every day. And the reason I do it every day is I try and make strangers along my daily path laugh or smile for no reason at all other than it gives me pleasure and I’ve been doing it forever.
3
0:37:19
We’re on the same page. First of all, I never use the auto cashiers in a supermarket or Target or anywhere else.
1
0:37:28
Well, that’s extreme.
3
0:37:29
Because I want to go and say hello to the person who’s packing my bags and if I can, many of them have name tags and I’ll say, you know, hello, Arlene, how are you today?
1
0:37:41
Oh my gosh, I do the same thing.
2
0:37:43
Yeah.
1
0:37:44
Listen, Gary. We’re giving high fives here in the studio. Gary, if there were an aerial view of you and me going around the world, it would be like, oh, isn’t that too related?
3
0:37:51
That’s so annoying.
6
0:37:52
It reminds me of what happens when I go to the store and I do use the auto checkout and I’m afraid to look at the checkout people because I know they’re looking at me like,
1
0:38:00
what’s the matter with me? Oh Bobby you’re so funny you’re under the radar over there trying to get scooping out trying to get out before
3
0:38:06
you see them. No but I do that all the time and you know the guys at the car wash whatever it is I say yo what’s up how you guys doing today you know
1
0:38:15
whatever and got it. What I point out in my book is most you know I probably give a compliment you know there’s cranky people but I can’t worry about them most people welcome a boost on any given day. That’s a line in my book. Most people welcome a boost on any given day.
5
0:38:32
Agree.
1
0:38:33
Agree? All right. I’m going to come back one more segment of the show. We’ve got to talk about some people in the Bronx that are famous because I got my list. And since you’re the guy, you’re Mr. Bronx, I never would have…
3
0:38:43
I’m all set.
1
0:38:44
You’re all set. Gary Axelbank in studio with me right now. He’s the host of Bronx Net and a bunch of other things you’re going to tell you about. Make sure you can find him. He’s a terrific talk show host and terrific interviewer. He also does a lot of cool things. He’s on the board for the blind and visually impaired, and we’ll talk more about my blind intern when you come back
1
0:39:02
because I thought that’s something you could appreciate. And technology relates to those with disabilities. And now, back to the Debbie Nigro Show. A lot of people end up with glitter in their eyes and aspire, right, higher, and we should and Gary Axelbank is in the studio.
1
0:39:52
He’s very famous in the Bronx. Tell everybody what you do there right now. I’m the host of two TV shows. The TV show Bronx Talk, which you can just Google and it will come right up, is known as the Burroughs Flagship Talk Show for 30 years. That’s a lot of years.
1
0:40:07
That’s a lot of years.
3
0:40:09
I also host the Bronx Music Podcast because music is what fuels is the gas that fuels the cultures of the Bronx.
1
0:40:35
You know if you ask anybody the top 10 most famous people in the Bronx Jennifer Lopez always comes up as number one who has by the way has the same birthday as me and then everybody thinks of Chaz Pominteri of course the great actor who was in studio with me who I put up on the you know he told me I’d remind him of his mother which I thought was good. I think I said you like your mother
1
0:40:52
He said yeah, you loved her which was good, but then I was reading all these incredible people in politics obviously there’s been a lot of interesting people but Theodore Roosevelt the US president Colin Colin. He spent his boyhood summers and wave held yet Colin Powell A lot of can I give you a hint a really good Bronx hint yeah?
3
0:41:09
Yeah, go search the Bronx Walk of Fame.
1
0:41:15
Okay, you do it.
3
0:41:16
Well, I just did. And on the Grand Concourse, they have plaques all the way down the Grand Concourse for all the people in the Bronx Walk of Fame.
1
0:41:23
That is so cool.
3
0:41:24
And here, alphabetically, Danny Aiello, Dave Valentin, the great flautist, Diane Carroll, and I’m in the D’s here, Dion Dimucci.
1
0:41:31
Neil Simon, I’m going to throw in, we don’t have a lot of time, so I’ll throw some in
3
0:41:34
between.
1
0:41:35
Okay, E.L. Doctorow.
3
0:41:37
Yeah, oh wow. Fat Joe, of course.
1
0:41:39
Carl Reiner, where’s the girls?
3
0:41:40
Gabe Pressman.
1
0:41:41
Wow
3
0:41:42
Fat Joe of course and Carl Reiner. Where’s the girls Gabe Pressman? Yeah a lot of girls, okay?
1
0:41:48
Well, we’ll get him I’ll get him Arlene Alda who is Alan all Allen Alda’s wife Was Alan from there to know Cooper Gooding jr. John Favreau. I must be in the boy section over here Listen man, just okay good and Bancroft. I don’t go on in the answer Oh Oh, Penny Marshall. Tiny Archibald.
1
0:42:07
Oh, man. Ellen Barkin. It goes on and on. We’ve got to wrap this up, Gary. It’s the end of the show. I know, I know.
4
0:42:13
We can do the Daily Toast. Bob, hit that. I’ll let you do the send-off.
1
0:42:16
It’s some inspirational toast when you go meet people. Attention, everyone.
3
0:42:18
It’s the Daily Toast on the Debbie Nigro Show. What you got, Gar?
1
0:42:22
Ladies and gentlemen, it’s all about peace and love, and if you can share that, you will have a beautiful life, as will all the people around you. Thank you, Gary Axelbank. That was easy. Tremendous. Went very fast.
1
0:42:32
Gary, old friend, hired me when he was a PD at WRNW. My first job as a news person. Yeah, yeah. I got up there. I got it done. Got it done.
1
0:42:41
All right, kids, have a great rest of your day. So happy to always be here on WGCH 1490. The digital live stream is WGCH.com. You want to find me and the podcast of people I’ve had on the show afterwards at debbienegro.com goes up on all the major podcast platforms. You can find me on Facebook, the Debbie Nigro Show, Instagram at the real Debbie Nigro,
1
0:43:00
TikTok, I’m getting started over there at the real Debbie Nigro. I’m on LinkedIn and I’m on X.
2
0:43:04
It’s exhausting.
1
0:43:05
It’s on everything.
3
0:43:06
Have a good day.
1
0:43:07
So So
2
0:43:17
Bye.
Transcribed with Cockatoo
