If you want to meet a guy with an inspiring life and attitude, meet James Flaherty.
‘Jim’ who’s now 88, gets my weekly newsletter which happened to land in his email while he was sitting in the airport in Cabo San Lucas. He wrote me back while waiting for a plane back home to N.Y. and told me he’d just spent a week at the ‘Modern Elder Academy’.
Sounded interesting so I wrote him back I wanted him to come on my show and report on what went on there.
I was sparked that day by the cover of “Dear Old Friends” but what really cracked me up and made me buy the book, is that while quickly scanning it I read he had started writing it in his 40s and finally finished it in his 80s. My kinda procrastinator!
Jim Flaherty has a big fun brain. Before becoming a writer, he worked in advertising, and his life, he says, was just like to the TV series “Mad Men”. Jim also built and ran a successful country inn and conference center called Troutbeck in Amenia NY for 30 years. It’s spectacular in case you’re ever headed in that direction.
Why is Jim my ‘American Idol’? Because at 88 he’s vibrant and positive, with no regrets and a belief that every day is a miracle. And because he wrote to me while I was sitting home pathetically with a heating pad on my lower back, while his spunky 88 year old self flew his butt to Baja, Mexico to attend a curious midlife wisdom school. I seriously need to learn from whatever he’s doing.
Jim’s book, “Embrace Your Age,” is getting attention for its empowering message too, especially the importance of waking up with ‘purpose’. Jim wakes up every day doing some deep breathing exercises and thinking of ways to help others.
So what was Jim’s ‘Modern Elder Academy’ Experience’ all about?
He described it as a very cool place for ‘going back to school’ to help navigate life transitions and to cultivate or re-cultivate purpose in midlife and beyond.
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The age range of attendees from all around the world at the Academy varied he said, with most being in their 60s and some in their 50s and 70s. Jim says midlife crises can occur between ages 40 and 70 and pointed out being 88, that he was the oldest person there that week. The highlight he said, was the camaraderie and the sense of community and connection formed there. He felt he left with having formed a whole new group of friends. Below is a snapshot from the Modern Elder Academy website showing an example of a community of people who’ve attended.
By the way, Forbes did a story on the Modern Elder Academy a few years ago and called it ‘The Cool School For Midlifers’. I read that it’s the world’s first midlife wisdom school where you can unlock old hopes and discover new dreams in person beachside in Baja or in the creative corridor Santa Fe, or online from home in your pajamas. Sounds cool to me.
Ya gotta love Jim Flaherty’s energy and spirit. As for his future at 88? Well, he may teach a workshop at the Modern Elder Academy, but he’s also looking for an agent to sell his TV series, screenplay, and two novels.
Oh, and he wants me to come visit him back up in Amenia and take a swim in his indoor swimming pool. LOL .OK fine, fine, Jim, whatever you’re doing I want to do too.
Enjoy this podcast of our live radio conversation on The Debbie Nigro Show. It’s truly an uplifting and motivational discussion on aging gracefully, finding purpose, and staying active and engaged in life’s later years. It’s about the cool way to get old.
If you’d rather ‘read’ than ‘listen’ the transcript of the audio is below.
Photo Credit: Cool Old Guy/ iStock / Diamond Dogs
AUDIO TRANSCRIPT:
0:00:00
And now, back to the Debbie Nigro. What’s going on where you are? I hope that you’re vertical. That’s a good way to start the day. I’m going for a scan for the back. I got some neck and the back and it’s just, it won’t quit, so I’ll take care of that. But I feel bad. I’m not going to complain in front of this guy. This guy is my version of American Idol. You’re about to meet for the second time on the Debbie Nigro Show, James Flaherty, who turned 88 this past September. And a little bit about him, just quickly, that he likes you to know about him from his website. He says, oh, here I am, happy, healthy, quite sure I won’t wake up on the wrong side of the grass tomorrow and I honestly believe every day is a miracle, another opportunity to produce, create, learn, hopefully do something good for myself and others.” And on top of that he has no regrets, no sad memories, you know, that didn’t spring from great happiness, and he said, why was I given this gift? I thank my creator every day and know tomorrow will be superb onward. That’s what I always say to Jim. Anyway, Jim gets my newsletter, he writes me back, after having been on the show, he follows me a little bit, and he says, hey, I’m over here in the airport in Cabo San Lucas, just returning from the modern elder academy. I’m like, are you kidding me? And I said, you know what, I have to know. He’s my reporter today, so we know what’s going on with the world that is aging and continuing to be vibrant, and there’s lots of people who need some advice on how to do it better and tell everybody else What they should be doing better to welcome back Jim
2
0:02:07
Thank you. You make me sound much too nice. I mean That I I must be fainted. There’s a light from the heavens You know, I’m not not all that good and I’m 88 going on 58, you know I love that about you, you know
1
0:02:21
I told everybody earlier the reason I I connected with you as I picked up your book. It said, Dear Old Friend, and I love that you started the book in your 40s and just happened to finish it in your 80s. I’m like, my kind of procrastinator. I’m like, my kind of procrastinator. So what are you doing now? I know you’re a writer. You are a writer.
2
0:02:40
You have the first book. The second book actually is getting more press. It’s called Embrace Your Age, and the subtitle is You Can Be Better Than Ever. Because I see it in friends of mine, being 88, I obviously know a lot of people who are in their 80s. Fortunately, I have a whole batch of friends who are in their 60s and 70s, and many friends in their 40s and 50s. You know because that’s very healthy. There’s a wonderful book out, I’m going to mention a couple books without going into great detail because people can look them up. One is called The Happy Life, okay, and to look at by Dr. Robert Waldinger. It’s very, very important because it spells out the result of an 85-year-old study of adult human behavior, and that’s very worthwhile. My trip down to Modern Elder Academy is a one, this is the second workshop I’ve gone to. They have these incredible gatherings. There’s generally a guest host. In this case, our guest host was Richard Leider, that’s spelled L-E-I-D-E-R, who wrote a book that only sold something like eight million copies.
1
0:04:05
Oh wow.
2
0:04:06
The power of purpose. You know, we all know, we think about purpose. Oh sure, I have a purpose for doing things. No, having a purpose is crucial. It’s the reason you wake up in the morning. You must really know what the hell is the plan. And he was, it was very interesting. He said, let me give you a good guide for starting your day. Okay, you wake up, no tech for the moment, no tech to start your day. You sit there and take three deep breaths. I hear this also from yoga and meditation people. Three deep breaths, suck in through your nostrils. If you can, hold your breath for a count of four and then breathe out for a count of six, maybe. You breathe out all the bad stuff. Do those three times. And then think, who can you help? Try to think of one person whose life you can make better. By doing something for them, or by giving advice or writing a note. I think things like that are very important. Reaching out to them.
1
0:05:24
That’s really interesting. Maintaining contact.
2
0:05:27
It makes all the difference in the world. It really does.
1
0:05:31
Very, very important. Very, very good share. I think that people should have really listened to what you just said because by reaching out to somebody else and offering whatever you can do for them, it’s unexpected. It makes you feel good, makes them feel good, and I always believe it comes back around from somewhere else. Amazing.
4
0:05:50
Jim, when you were there…
2
0:05:51
Actually, I would like to tell all your listeners, write this down, folks. WisdomWell, W-I-S-D-O-M, Wisdom and then the word Well, no spaces, WisdomWell, at that little funny sign on your computer, Modern Elder Academy, no spaces, ModernElderAcademy.com, WisdomWell at ModernElderAcademy.com, and ask them to put you on the free, totally free mailing list and you’ll get a daily blog. And I can’t begin to tell you how wise it is. It’s always full of wisdom and generally they’re written by Chip Conley who’s the founder of MEA, that’s MEA, that’s Modern Elder Academy. Or if he doesn’t write them, he has an incredible guest host write them. At any rate, the workshops are terrific. It was very worthwhile being there with Mr. Leiter. There were 29 of us, all of us were statesiders. We met Monday evening for the first time. By Friday evening when we ended, the goodbyes were full of hugs and tears and laughter and kisses, and we were saying goodbye to best friends. And we’ve all still been writing each other. I mean it’s amazing what you go through, and you do it in a beautiful setting. They have two places. One is the Baja of Mexico, so you fly to Cabo St. Lucas and then they pick you up with a shuttle and take you to a beautiful, like a Mexican-style hacienda right on the Pacific Ocean. We would sit at breakfast and see whales migrating, okay, for total magic, and they’re opening a brand new, what they call a campus in Santa Fe, New Mexico. They’re opening it about April. I’m going to go there to a new workshop in Santa Fe, and it’s conceivable, I’m not saying that I will for sure, but it’s conceivable that I may be teaching one
1
0:08:24
of the workshops myself. I just, I can’t get enough of you. I just want to point out to my listening audience, by the way guys, I’m Debbie Nigro and you’re listening to James Flaherty who is 88 years young and just returned from the Modern Elder Academy. He’s doing a report for me as to what this is all about. And from what I understand, Jim, I’m just going to take a minute on this Modern Elder Academy. It’s about navigating your what’s next and unlocking old hopes and discovering new dreams at the world’s first midlife wisdom school. And I’m so drawn to this and not just obviously me, Forbes did a story in Oprah and Fast Company and the Times and Travel and Leisure, but basically if you are navigating a transition, trying to cultivate some purpose, trying to own your wisdom, you get to help, they help you collaboratively rewrite your next chapter in a workshop in one of their beautiful campuses, which is where Jim just returned. Jim, just a quick question for you. What was the age range of the people you met there, the 27 people?
2
0:09:22
In both workshops, the other one I went to was called Longevity, by the way, with Dan Buechner who wrote all the Blue Zones books. That was last February. I was far and away the eldest. next age next to me was 10 years younger, a terrific name. She was great, we had a good time. She said, I’m the oldest person here. I said, nah, honey, you’re just a kid. You know, and then after her, there were two people in their 70s, most people in their 60s. There were a couple in their 50s, and there was one 45-year-old. I mean because midlife crisis as MEA understands it and I understand it because life is full of transitions, midlife crisis happens between the ages of 40 and 70. It depends on the individual. You know… Did you have a midlife crisis? No, I didn’t because I was too goddamn busy working. I embraced years ago a wonderful quip by Noel Coward of all people, the great English wagon wit who said, Work is more fun than fun. I believe it. Iíve had friends say, Come on, Jim. You can afford to float around the pool all day with a margarita in your hand. And I said, ìSure. And after 20 minutes, then what? I mean come on I wasn’t born to do that. I’m supposed to write books and TV series and do things. Now Debbie you’ve got to find me an agent. I’ve got a TV series and a screenplay I want to sell and two novels, two fiction novels also.
1
0:11:08
Alright we’re getting close Jim, we’re getting close. You know we have to bond a little bit, I’ve got to make sure, I’ve got to get the connection, write the right connection for you I’ll help you you know I always try and help just real quick before Jim became a writer and and all these beautiful creative things he does now you had a real job in the what was it the ad agency world I’m just trying to clarify I started out in
2
0:11:32
advertising if any of you saw that very silly but interesting TV series called Mad Men. That was basically the story of my life. I was a corner office writer, creative director for advertising agencies, except as I told my friends who said, oh, Jim, it was all about you. And I said, no, the difference was nobody ever got drunk or late in my office. I didn’t permit it. You know, so, and then after that, when I was at the top of the mountain, I jumped off the mountain and started a business I knew nothing about. I found an abandoned stack of stone and created a four- or five-star country inn and conference center here in the boonies of New York State.
1
0:12:14
And I owned it for 30 years. A mean New Yorker, he’s called Troutback. Troutback, yeah. Let me tell you, how I found you accidentally was because Dave and I were taking a random weekend, you know, road trip and somebody told us about, well actually we found the general store in Armenia, I found your book, then the girl who, woman, who was running the store told us about Troutbeck, the place you built, we went up the mountain to the place you built, before you know it we’re like, that’s the best day of our lives, it was so much, so much beauty, and what you built was magical, magical, magical. I told everybody go to Troutbeck in Armenia, New York, but it’s not cheap Jim, it’s not cheap there at all, those rooms are expensive.
2
0:12:52
No, no. It’s very pricey. It’s really now a boutique hotel. When I had it, it was a country inn. I know. I know. But it’s beautiful. It’s very lovely. I basically live across the street. My home is a 1940s Dairy Barn.
1
0:13:06
Oh, I love it. I’m going to come see you in the Dairy Barn one day, but we’ve got to go right now. I want you up here. Bring your swim suit. I have a pool in the house.
3
0:13:13
I know you do. I’m coming to see you.
1
0:13:15
I have a pool in the house. Well, alright, I’ll bring my bathing suit and you’ll swim. Listen, I can’t thank you enough for being my correspondent today about the Modern Elder Academy. You are, again, my idol. I appreciate your energy, love your spirit, your message is even louder, which is you’ve got to have purpose when you wake up in the morning. Absolutely. This is one way that Jim thought maybe would help others find better purpose and how to navigate different times of life. Go to MEAWisdom.com. They also have online classes. And Jim, come back again sometime soon. I really love having you a part of my life.
2
0:13:47
Debbie, thanks so much for calling. Love you dear.
1
0:13:50
Okay. Be well. Be well. Stay tuned guys.
Transcribed with Cockatoo
